bitter bitter tea

If I am ever on a reality show that does a “prologue” season finale and shows a freeze frame of my face next to the words “she irresponsibly spent all the money she made from this show and had to cancel her cable”, remind me to have complete and final approval over that freeze frame shot.

I thought Jacob might be offended by my text message, but I should have known better.

DUI bro

This is a waitress at a local establishment that I frequent. She is essentially Ramona Quimby grown up to me, so I am always super excited to see her.

If she somehow finds this, I apologize for covertly taking this photo, but please take it as a compliment.